PARENTING COORDINATOR

Resolving Parental Conflicts

As a parenting coordinator, I am an impartial person with the primary duty owed to the child or children, not the parents’ preferences. I administer the parents’ written Parenting Agreement in their separation agreement or a court-ordered parenting arrangement.

Parenting coordination is appropriate for all parents who

Prefer to or must delegate some aspects of decision making, or
Who are experiencing conflicted, stressful or unhelpful communications about parenting decisions and
For parents who have experienced significant conflict over a period of one or two years and who continue to experience conflict with the other parent over some or all decision-making, which prevents them from making important and necessary decisions for the benefit of their children.

Article

Professor Andrew Schepard of the Hofstra University School of Law in his article, “Parenting Coordinator for High Conflict Parent” N.Y.L.J., 5/8/03, p. 3 col. 1, accurately described the role of Parenting Coordinator as “a combination educator, mediator, and sometimes-therapist who helps parents develop conflict-management skills and decides disputes if they cannot. . . . [B]y supervising parenting and resolving conflict, a Parenting Coordinator helps high-conflict parents develop a tolerable working relationship (usually parallel as opposed to cooperative parenting) for the benefit of their children.”

https://www.divorceny.com/custody/are-parenting-coordinators-too-little-too-late-in-custody-and-visitation-disputes/

I am obliged to hold to a child-centred approach. My duty at law is to the child, to decide in your child's best interest.

My approach

As a fully accredited parenting coordinator, I resolve disputes about parenting, and the interpretation and implementation of parenting (Court) orders and consent agreements, directly, quickly and efficiently. Parents will generally improve their communications by placing the interests of their children before their own emotional or ideological preferences. I will de-escalate conflict that prevents parents from settling disagreements.

I try to guide the parents to reach decisions together without my intervention. This can happen quickly, with the use of tools and protocol agreements. For some, the process is simple, and for others, it is less so.

Eventually, everyone gets to the same place of being able to use tools provided to communicate effectively, respectfully, and without drama. The parenting exchanges will be reasonable. In doing so, a measure of peace is interjected.

Ultimately, after 12 to 24-months, there is no need for a Parenting Coordinator to resolve parenting disputes, and my services are no longer needed.

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“We must all obey the great law of change.
It is the most powerful law of nature.”

— Edmund Burke